A few weeks back, I received an unexpected phone call from a good friend. She was in a bit of a panic, because she had just learned that there was a meteor shower headed towards the United States in the next couple of days and she wanted to see it firsthand. I told her that I would be more than happy to take her up on her kind offer, so we made plans to meet up the next morning. When I got to her house, she was already excitedly waving me inside by the front door. As soon as she closed it, I could smell the barbecue spices that were already permeating the house. I knew right away that something had happened. Her husband, Ben, was at work, so she was all alone. While she was giving me a quick tour of the house, I could see that it was already beginning to look a bit like a wreck. Her dining room table was laid out for two, complete with a white tablecloth and place settings for two. There were food wrappers and empty cups all around the table, which told me that she had hosted a cook-off with some of her coworkers. Her normally pristine white kitchen was covered in empty cans, take-out containers and a pizza wedge, which was about to go bad because it had been in the oven for too long. There were also signs of a struggle—the living room couch was ripped and there were deep claw marks on the armrests. Looking at her, I knew this would not be a leisurely morning. I was right, because as soon as she finished giving me a tour, she ushered me into her study and closed the door. She immediately went into detail about what had happened. About an hour ago, she said, a pack of dogs had invaded the backyard, and it had all ended in chaos. During the melee, her beautiful blonde hair had become completely unkempt and was now in desperate need of a brush-up. After about five minutes of listening and nodding, I realized that this was not going to be a typical run-of-the-mill crazy-dog-attack story and that I might be in for a bit of a treat. I suddenly found myself in the middle of a full-blown wrestling match between two dogs, with me being the referee. That was when I noticed the other dog’s collar—it was Doggystyle, the most popular inhumanely-sourced dog food brand in the country. Suddenly everything made sense. This was no ordinary meteor shower, this was Doggystyle Inc. And the only reason this was happening was that she had an unusual craving for their food that night and had been too lazy to walk the dogs before she went to sleep. I had been asked to check up on her because she had been acting a little strange for the last few weeks, so I had followed her example and been cooking and wrestling with her dogs. Fortunately, this only happened once and the dogs seemed content to just snuggle next to her on the couch for the rest of the night. The next day, we both felt much better and resumed our normal ways. But it was only a matter of time before this all happened again. So I had to make a quick decision—continue with life as usual, or take the dogs with me on the road again so that I could put an end to this habit once and for all.
What’s so bad about this story? First off, this isn’t an ordinary occurrence—most likely this is an once-in-a-lifetime event for her and her husband. This was a combination of an eclipse and a meteor shower, and where I come from (California), this is a once-in-a-lifetime event. When the moon passes between the Earth and the Sun, we get to see a solar eclipse. When the Earth passes between the Sun and the Moon, we get to experience a lunar eclipse. On August 1st, the Sun will be completely hidden by the Moon, so we will be treated to a total solar eclipse. On August 4th, the Moon will be at its closest point to Earth and the whole planet will experience a lunar eclipse. Of course, we won’t see the complete eclipse as the Moon will be covering up the Sun and a part of the Sun will always be visible. But it will still be an amazing sight to behold. And if this is something that interests you, then by all means, go out there and see it for yourself. Just make sure you take the dogs with you so that they don’t eat all the pies that are intended for humanity. Just kidding. I don’t think she would do that. She is a vegan and doesn’t eat dog food, anyway.
Is This An Insane Asylum?
While I was doing my best to put on a brave face, my heart was in my throat—not because of what had happened, but because of what was still to come. If this is the kind of thing that interests you, then I would recommend seeking help rather than going it alone. There are people who work in animal shelters and mental health facilities who could help you find the best treatment possible for your dog. Even though this is no longer a problem for her, the same cannot be said for the other dogs in her neighborhood. Some of them have already been adopted and they still don’t know where their new families are or if they’re going to show up and claim them as their own. So if this is something that you’re considering and you feel like you’re the only person who’ll understand what you’re going through, then maybe it’s time to stop searching and start looking for answers.
Why Is Everything Always About Dogs?
This is the million dollar question and I’ve been asking myself this for most of my life. My family and I always had a lot of dogs growing up, so it’s not like this was a rare occurrence for me or my house. But even now, when I walk into my kitchen, I still ask myself this question. I really need to make a list of everything that is related to dogs and cross it off as I go. It would be a great way to start my day. So while I was busy putting all these wonderful and amazing things into practice, I decided that I would make a list of things that I hate about dogs. I’ve probably gone through most of these things at some point in my life, so it’s nice to finally have pen and paper to keep track of them. The first thing that came to mind was how much they stink. This is especially bad when they chew through electrical cords or invade other people’s yards and start doing their business all around the place. These are things that I hate about dogs, and it’s a good thing that I have a list to prevent myself from doing these things, because otherwise, I would end up harming myself or someone else. Dogs are definitely not like candy or flowers—they can be cute and sweet, but you have to be careful around them because they can smell fear and weakness, and they will use this against you. It’s always better to be the loud, aggressive type. When it comes to dogs, sometimes the tiniest hint of fear is all that they need to get a big whiff of your scent and decide that they want to try out your jugular vein. I hate when dogs come up to you trying to lick your face or nose. This is especially bad when they do it right in front of a child, trying to make them laugh or play with them so that they don’t tell their parents about what happened. These dogs are going to be dealt with, whether you’re willing to or not.
Why Is It Always The Husband’s Responsibility To Look After The Dogs?
This is something that I’ve noticed about human beings and it makes sense when you think about it. We are the more dominant gender, which means that we’re usually the ones who make the decisions in a relationship. And usually those decisions are related to our partner’s needs. I know that when Ben and I started dating, he wanted kids and I didn’t. So we made a deal—if I agreed to raise the children as his ‘pet project’, then he would agree to take care of the dogs. It’s not like this was some cruel trick that he played on me or something—it was genuinely the best solution for both of us. Because if I was going to be saddled with this unending responsibility, then he would at least get to see the puppies grow up. It’s not like I’m against the idea of having children or being a mother, but this was definitely not what I signed up for. So now that we’ve been married for a while and done this dog breeding thing once or twice, he knows what he’s doing when it comes to caring for them. He gives them the food that they need and makes sure that their water is always fresh. If someone is going to be responsible for the well-being of these animals, then it’s going to be the person who showed up to the party first and made the most effort to please the crowd. In other words, the husband.